Sex Before Marriage - 9/25/12

(Right-Click/Ctrl-Click to 'Save File As')

Today's show is a bit of a hot topic, and I want to take a second to acknowledge it as such. Not everyone will agree with my personal opinions about sex before marriage, and that's absolutely fantastic. If we all had the same views, we would live in a boring world. That said, I try my very hardest to understand other viewpoints, whether I disagree with them or not. I don't expect anyone to agree with me, but I expect respectful discussion, which is something I think our society lacks.

Both this and the topic of same-sex marriage tend to bring up very, very strong emotions. That's natural, but I hope that what you take away from this episode, above all of the other opinions you hear, is that we talk about sex before marriage in a very civilized way. We might have differing opinions, but that doesn't mean we need to be petty. This is why I thought that Jill Filipovic's article was fantastic: it was relatively neutral, and very much empathetic to both sides of the topic. 

I implore you, if you want to talk about this or any subject that you want to discuss with another person, try to follow these rules:

• Be respectful
• Put yourself in their shoes before you speak
• Speak to others as you would like to be spoken to
• Be objective when you can
• No yelling

I hope that you enjoy today's show, and I would love to discuss the topic at greater length if you want to post your thoughts, or e-mail me. 

Useful links:

1. Waiting till the wedding night -- getting married the right way
2. The moral case for sex before marriage
3. Reciprocal Effects of Religiosity, Cohabitation, and Marriage
4. Taming desire: Celibacy, sexuality and the Church

Music you heard:

1. "Peggy's Minute Rag" by Elena Kats-Chernin
2. "Body and Soul" by Billie Holiday
3. "A Lover Like You" by The Avett Brothers

Thanks!

Kissing and Commumnication - 9/11/12

(Right-Click/Ctrl-Click to 'Save File As')

I've been thinking a lot about communication lately, and the ways that we tell or show what we mean. That could mean with a partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, whatever, but really it's about everyone we interact with. We all have our ways of communicating, and we connect most with the people that communicate in the most similar way we do. This goes especially for dating. If you can't have a conversation, chances are your sexual communication will be a little off as well. And if you don't kiss the same way, chances are you won't have sex the same way either. Something to think about also is that sometimes kissing takes practice. You don't have to stick to kissing the way you've always been kissing, just like how you shouldn't get yourself in a rut when it comes to your openness to trying new things in the bedroom.

These are the things we think about.

We also talked a bit about toys, and especially male toys, such as cock rings, nipple clamps, and masturbation sleeves! So many fun things!

Useful links:

1. Nipple toys on Adam and Eve
2. Article about kissing
3. What's with the stigma surrounding fleshlights?

Music you heard:

1. "The Beach" by Podington Bear
2. "Jungle Love" by Morris Day & The Time
3. "Gimmeakiss" by The Avett Brothers

See you next week, my beloved listeners. 

Erotica - 8/29/12

(Right-Click/Ctrl-Click to 'Save File As')

Today's show is all about erotica, peeps. We talk a bit about the definition of erotica and what makes it different from pornography, but our main emphasis is on the written form of erotica, like romance novels.

Erotica (from the Greek ἔρως, eros "desire"): works of art, including literature, photography, film, sculpture and painting, that deal substantively with erotically stimulating or sexually arousing descriptions

A lot of people say that erotica is porn for women, and in a lot of ways that's true, but it also has a literary quality to it when it is done well, and done beautifully, which is something we all agreed on. A good example of this is "Delta of Venus" by Anaïs Nin, which I read a bit of on the July 4th episode. That said, I think that a lot of people separate things that are sexual, and things that are literary, which doesn't necessarily have to be true. In visual art, erotic things are often considered high art, but in the written form, it's called smut. This seems unfair to me, and is something Elissa has experienced firsthand with her erotica, which I read aloud in this episode as well. Hope I've piqued your interest. See you on the other side.

Music you heard:

1. "Up From The South" by The Budos Band

Useful links:

1. Umich Library search of "best erotica"
2. Ann Arbor District Library search for "erotica"
3. Tiny Nibbles
4. Juxtapoz Erotica

Thanks for listening! Let us know what you thought!

Roundtable: Real Men™ - 8/22/12

(Right-Click/Ctrl-Click to 'Save File As')

Lucky for you, I was a bit lazy and didn't want to prerecord anything, so you got a LIVE show out of the deal. To be honest, I love doing live shows, especially when I have cool people like Steph and Elissa with me in the studio.

Today the topic we landed on was about a Jezebel article by Lindy West that I recently came upon and posted on my Facebook. This was a great read, and I got a lot of interesting responses from my friends, which I talked a little bit on the show (no names, don't worry guys). The main ideas of the article are that our society has ingrained us with an idea that there is an ideal kind of woman, and an ideal kind of man, and that we need to get as close as possible to that, as unrealistic, and unreasonable as it might be. Men have unrealistic expectations of how women should dress or act, and women can do the same thing. It's a two way street.

We also touch on a few mildly related topics, such as weddings, communication, and very small dogs. Enjoy the show!

Useful links:

1. Jezebel article by Lindy West "Everything Real Men Think Is Wrong With You"

See you next week! As always, if you have any comments/suggestions/hate mail, please feel free to comment or e-mail!

Older LGBT Adults - 8/15/12

(Right-Click/Ctrl-Click to 'Save File As')

Today's show I interviewed Kathleen LaTosch, the special projects consultant for Affirmations, about a very interesting topic, and probably not one that's on your radar: LGBT older adults. The elderly community itself is something that younger generations sometimes don't think much about (until they are part of it), but everyone needs to do their part to make their issues known.

Older LGBT adults have a lot of problems not only with housing, but with typical aging services, such as retirement homes, assisted living, hospice, etc. These are major issues for heterosexual adults, but for LGBT individuals, it can create a whole host of problems. Maybe they're severely closeted, and don't trust others to come into their home for fear of being outed. Maybe they are living with a partner, but cannot live in the same retirement community because of discrimination (which is allowed in Michigan by the way).

Please realize that this could be an older person that you know. Maybe someone at your church or temple. Maybe it's your next door neighbor. An important point that I want to make is that simply talking about the issues can solve the problem, and can make people more aware. If you know an older person, have them take this survey. I also have it linked below. This can help change the discrimination we face in Michigan, and discrimination specifically faced by older LGBT individuals.

Useful Links:

1. LGBT Older Adult Coalition
2. LGBT Needs Survey
3. Affirmations of Ferndale, MI
4. Relevant article from the New York Times

Music you heard:

1. "Easy Living" by Billie Holiday
2. "On The Sunny Side Of The Street" by Louis Armstrong
3. "To the Gateway" from Super Mario Galaxy OST

Tune in next week! And don't be shy about leaving a comment or shooting us an e-mail! We love e-mails!

BDSM/Kink Culture - 8/8/12

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sex Olympians - 8/1/12

(Right-Click/Ctrl-Click to 'Save File As')

Today was a very special episode of the Sex and Tell Show for multiple reasons:

1. There were about 5 other people in the studio besides me
2. It was a live show
3. We got our first caller
4. Our topic was the best thing ever

The gist of today's show was that Olympic games participants are having copious amounts of sex right now. Yes, right now. While you're watching the Olympics on your TV, there is so much behind-the-scene action that it will blow your mind. Not only do Olympians have lots and lots of sex with each other, but the people running the Olympics actually buy custom condoms in bulk for the occasion! In the episode we'll talk about that, plus why it may or may not be good for the athletes to have sex before their events.

As always, if you have any comments, anecdotes, etc. about the topic, PLEASE e-mail us. We want to know. We need to know. 

Useful links:

1. Will you still medal in the morning?
2. Olympics: Sex not a spoiler
3. 21 Openly Gay Olympians
4. Olympics or Gay Porn?

Music you heard:

1. "We Are The Champions" by Queen

Hope you have as much fun listening as we did recording!