Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Basic Sex Facts - 12/26/12

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I was talking to my friend about sex (as you do), and she said that she was talking to a co-worker who didn't know things about sex that she considered to be basic, common knowledge. So today's episode is about some basic facts about condoms, lubrication, and various other bodily functions that they don't tell you in sex ed, and that porn doesn't show you.

A major thing we emphasize in today's episode is that often the reality of sex is different from what you might imagine, or what someone might tell you. Sex is complicated, hilarious, strange, and all around more multi-faceted. It's not always glamorous, but the more you know, the more fun sex will be, and the safer you can be.

If you don't know something you think you should know, but were too embarrassed to ask, don't be shy about e-mailing me. A great resource is the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, as well as just talking to your local sex expert at the Safe Sex Store or Safety Girl.

(Edit: Also, I apologize for the low quality recording. This was done in my kitchen and it was Christmas, so we were kind of loud.)

Useful links:
  1. Condom Application Series
  2. Condom Use Among Adolescents
  3. Condom Fact Sheet
  4. Female ejaculation via Wikipedia
  5. 7 Ways To Know If You're Peeing Or Squirting
Music you heard:
  1. "9 AM Christmas Day" from Animal Crossing GC
  2. "Sex Ed Scene" from Monty Python and The Meaning of Life
  3. "Break Through" by The Funkees
  4. "Another Day" by Jazzanova
See you in the New Year!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Safety Girl! - 10/24/12


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Today's show I had a very special guest: Tanya Veilleux, who you might know as Safety Girl. She recently opened Get Curious with Safety Girl on Liberty (under Bongz & Thongz), and is on a mission to help the community by offering lots of toys, workshops, and fun costumes.

Something I love about what Tanya does, is that she is not afraid to be completely sex positive, and in a completely safe way. There are no dumb questions with her, and there's nothing TMI. You can talk about anything, and her shop is a completely safe space for this. Tanya also has developed a relationship with First Step, a domestic violence support community, which I think is so necessary to talk about and bring to light, since 1 in 4 women has experienced domestic violence.

The thing I realized while talking to Tanya was that it's important to band together in small communities like ours. Sometimes it's hard to open up about your sexuality, whether your straight or queer, and it feels good to have other people that are open about it. That is one of the fundamental reasons for my show here guys: to make you feel comfortable talking about your sexuality. I want you to feel empowered and comfortable with yourself, and the only way for that to happen is if other people are open about their own sexuality. Sex-positivism is catching.

Music you heard:
  1. "Curious Jungle" by Podington Bear
  2. "Ask Me Now" by Thelonious Monk
  3. Safety Girl Theme
Useful links:
  1. Get Curious with Safety Girl
  2. Safety Girl on Facebook
  3. "Boutique caters to student sexual needs" via Michigan Daily
  4. First Step

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Fetishism - 10/17/12


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Did you think you were the only one who liked the smell of your girlfriend on her period? You're not alone. There are innumerable kinds of fetishes, and chances are, you have one.

Don't freak out, though. Pretty much everyone on the planet has one fetish (or more). Whether you're into red heads or leather, there's something for everyone, and it makes us who we are, and what affects our sexual tastes. And as we say numerous times, as long as it's not hurting anyone, and everyone's consenting, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Part of figuring out your own sexuality is delving into stuff like this, and that's what makes us all unique, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you for having a fetish that other people might think is weird. Chances are, there is someone (or many people) who has the same fetish as you. Just look at how the BDSM community has blossomed! Although it's still considered strange to some people, it's much more acceptable, and to be honest, I've heard a lot of couples say they have tried bondage at least once.

WARNING: We talk about some strong topics, such as cannibalism, rape, and murder fetishes, so if this triggers you, proceed with caution.

Useful links:
  1. Sexual fetishism via Wikipedia
  2. List of paraphilias via Wikipedia
  3. AskMeAnything (AMA): I am a current furry who has attended 17 furry conventions.
Music you heard:
  1. "Bear Hug" by 2 Bears
  2. "Crane/White Lightning" by The RZA and Charles Bernstein from Kill Bill Vol. 1
  3. "Mein Teil" by Rammstein

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Sex Before Marriage - 9/25/12


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Today's show is a bit of a hot topic, and I want to take a second to acknowledge it as such. Not everyone will agree with my personal opinions about sex before marriage, and that's absolutely fantastic. If we all had the same views, we would live in a boring world. That said, I try my very hardest to understand other viewpoints, whether I disagree with them or not. I don't expect anyone to agree with me, but I expect respectful discussion, which is something I think our society lacks.

Both this and the topic of same-sex marriage tend to bring up very, very strong emotions. That's natural, but I hope that what you take away from this episode, above all of the other opinions you hear, is that we talk about sex before marriage in a very civilized way. We might have differing opinions, but that doesn't mean we need to be petty. This is why I thought that Jill Filipovic's article was fantastic: it was relatively neutral, and very much empathetic to both sides of the topic. 

I implore you, if you want to talk about this or any subject that you want to discuss with another person, try to follow these rules:
  • Be respectful
  • Put yourself in their shoes before you speak
  • Speak to others as you would like to be spoken to
  • Be objective when you can
  • No yelling
I hope that you enjoy today's show, and I would love to discuss the topic at greater length if you want to post your thoughts, or e-mail me. 

Useful links:
  1. Waiting till the wedding night -- getting married the right way
  2. The moral case for sex before marriage
  3. Reciprocal Effects of Religiosity, Cohabitation, and Marriage
  4. Taming desire: Celibacy, sexuality and the Church
Music you heard:
  1. "Peggy's Minute Rag" by Elena Kats-Chernin
  2. "Body and Soul" by Billie Holiday
  3. "A Lover Like You" by The Avett Brothers
Thanks!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Kissing and Commumnication - 9/11/12


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I've been thinking a lot about communication lately, and the ways that we tell or show what we mean. That could mean with a partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, whatever, but really it's about everyone we interact with. We all have our ways of communicating, and we connect most with the people that communicate in the most similar way we do. This goes especially for dating. If you can't have a conversation, chances are your sexual communication will be a little off as well. And if you don't kiss the same way, chances are you won't have sex the same way either. Something to think about also is that sometimes kissing takes practice. You don't have to stick to kissing the way you've always been kissing, just like how you shouldn't get yourself in a rut when it comes to your openness to trying new things in the bedroom.

These are the things we think about.

We also talked a bit about toys, and especially male toys, such as cock rings, nipple clamps, and masturbation sleeves! So many fun things!

Useful links:
  1. Nipple toys on Adam and Eve
  2. Article about kissing
  3. What's with the stigma surrounding fleshlights?
Music you heard:
  1. "The Beach" by Podington Bear
  2. "Jungle Love" by Morris Day & The Time
  3. "Gimmeakiss" by The Avett Brothers
See you next week, my beloved listeners. 

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Erotica - 8/29/12


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Today's show is all about erotica, peeps. We talk a bit about the definition of erotica and what makes it different from pornography, but our main emphasis is on the written form of erotica, like romance novels.
Erotica (from the Greek ἔρως, eros "desire"): works of art, including literature, photography, film, sculpture and painting, that deal substantively with erotically stimulating or sexually arousing descriptions
A lot of people say that erotica is porn for women, and in a lot of ways that's true, but it also has a literary quality to it when it is done well, and done beautifully, which is something we all agreed on. A good example of this is "Delta of Venus" by Anaïs Nin, which I read a bit of on the July 4th episode. That said, I think that a lot of people separate things that are sexual, and things that are literary, which doesn't necessarily have to be true. In visual art, erotic things are often considered high art, but in the written form, it's called smut. This seems unfair to me, and is something Elissa has experienced firsthand with her erotica, which I read aloud in this episode as well. Hope I've piqued your interest. See you on the other side.

Music you heard:
  1. "Up From The South" by The Budos Band
Useful links:

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Roundtable: Real Men™ - 8/22/12

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Lucky for you, I was a bit lazy and didn't want to prerecord anything, so you got a LIVE show out of the deal. To be honest, I love doing live shows, especially when I have cool people like Steph and Elissa with me in the studio.

Today the topic we landed on was about a Jezebel article by Lindy West that I recently came upon and posted on my Facebook. This was a great read, and I got a lot of interesting responses from my friends, which I talked a little bit on the show (no names, don't worry guys). The main ideas of the article are that our society has ingrained us with an idea that there is an ideal kind of woman, and an ideal kind of man, and that we need to get as close as possible to that, as unrealistic, and unreasonable as it might be. Men have unrealistic expectations of how women should dress or act, and women can do the same thing. It's a two way street.

We also touch on a few mildly related topics, such as weddings, communication, and very small dogs. Enjoy the show!

Useful links:
  1. Jezebel article by Lindy West "Everything Real Men Think Is Wrong With You"
See you next week! As always, if you have any comments/suggestions/hate mail, please feel free to comment or e-mail!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

BDSM/Kink Culture - 8/8/12

Alexandria Champagne
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Today was a very special show for multiple reasons, the main one being that we had a very special guest from the Safe Sex Store in Ann Arbor as our interviewee! My good friend Kate was also helping me co-host in the absence of our dear Sonya. Interestingly enough, it was complete serendipity that Kate and I met Alex. One night we were traipsing around Ann Arbor, and decided to browse S3, as you do. Alex was super helpful and hilarious, so I proposed she come on the show, and now we're all best friends, basically.

If you're not familiar with BDSM, here are a few terms we used that might help you wrap your head around it. I would also highly suggest that you check out the links at the bottom of the post for more information, if you're still curious!

Mini-Glossary of Terms: 
  • Sadomasochism: the receiving of pleasure--usually sexual--from acts involving pain or humiliation; sadism (giving pain) and masochism (receiving pain) are very much linked, and most people in kink culture enjoy both to different extents
  • Dominance and submission: behaviors involving a BDSM relationship where there is a clear dominant sexual personality, and a clear submissive personality (which usually translates into top and bottom)
  • Vanilla: those who do not practice BDSM, or engage in borderline BDSM activities; can also refer to clothing or activities that are worn or done by BDSM practitioners
Useful links:
  1. Jim Toy Community Center
  2. FetLife.com
  3. Safe Sex Store
  4. Glossary of BDSM terms
Music you heard:
  1. "Do Duckling" by Podington Bear
  2. "Indiana Jones Theme" by John Williams
See you next week! If you have any stories or comments, post them here, or e-mail them to me! I would love to talk more about what's on your mind!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Sex Olympians - 8/1/12

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Today was a very special episode of the Sex and Tell Show for multiple reasons:
  1. There were about 5 other people in the studio besides me
  2. It was a live show
  3. We got our first caller
  4. Our topic was the best thing ever
The gist of today's show was that Olympic games participants are having copious amounts of sex right now. Yes, right now. While you're watching the Olympics on your TV, there is so much behind-the-scene action that it will blow your mind. Not only do Olympians have lots and lots of sex with each other, but the people running the Olympics actually buy custom condoms in bulk for the occasion! In the episode we'll talk about that, plus why it may or may not be good for the athletes to have sex before their events.

As always, if you have any comments, anecdotes, etc. about the topic, PLEASE e-mail us. We want to know. We need to know. 

Useful links:
  1. Will you still medal in the morning?
  2. Olympics: Sex not a spoiler
  3. 21 Openly Gay Olympians
  4. Olympics or Gay Porn?
Music you heard:
  1. "We Are The Champions" by Queen
Hope you have as much fun listening as we did recording!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Sexxit! - 7/25/12

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Check it out, so Sonya and I were like, "We have no idea what to do this week," so we decided to take my obsession with Reddit and make a show out of it.

I've been a Redditor for about year now, and the community never fails to astound me in ways that I didn't think the internet could anymore. So many Redditors on /r/sex are willing to give you meaningful comments if you have questions, stories, or need serious help with a problem, and I don't think I've ever seen someone made fun of or trolled for a serious question. Topics are all over the maps, including but not limited to: trouble with orgasms, how to bring up BDSM with a partner, tips for oral sex, etc.

Besides talking about some important questions that we found on /r/sex and might be helpful to you, I hope that if you take away anything from this, it's to hopefully facilitate better communication with partners, and conversations with friends and family. Yes, sometimes it can be awkward. It's usually awkward in fact, but that shouldn't stop you from being able to talk about questions you have, or things you think are relevant, because they matter, and you're not alone.

Useful Links:
  1. /r/sex (Sexxit)
  2. /r/sexpertslounge (The Sexpert's Lounge)
  3. The Sexpert's Lounge Blog
Music you heard:
  1. "I Don't Know Enough About You" by Peggy Lee
  2. "Toboggan" by Podington Bear
  3. "Mayhem" by Terrorizer
Now go use the internet more! And as always, if you have questions/comments/rants, please hit the little contact button on top of the page!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Roundtable: Rape Jokes - 7/18/12

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So as a change of pace, today's show had special guests Rachael Crowe and Ben Yee, and we were LIVE on the air! The main thing we wanted to talk about is what makes a rape joke unacceptable, and really dissecting the reasons someone makes a rape joke. All over the internet you will see comedians fighting for free speech, and feminists fighting for compassion for rape survivors, but in my opinion, what we really need to do is put out the torches, sit down, and have a real conversation.

Even in today's show, we talked about how many people will make jokes to get around an awkward topic. Rape is a serious topic, and can be awkward to talk about, which is why people make rape jokes. It makes sense, right? The thing is, is that rape should be treated like any other serious topic. For example, let's take the Holocaust. Would you joke about the Holocaust to a group of Jewish internment camp survivors? "NO OF COURSE NOT" you might say. Well tell me this: how is joking about rape to a rape survivor any different? The answer: it's not. You need to be sensitive to your audience, and to context. That's just being a smart comedian. 

We realize this can be a very touchy topic, and we tried to be careful, but we also wanted to get to the heart of the cultural/society associations with rape, and why rape jokes are becoming a thing.

Useful links:
  1. How to Make a Rape Joke
  2. Louis CK Wasn't Defending Tosh, Restores Faith in Humanity
  3. What 'Rape Jokes' Could Learn From Jewish Humor
  4. Sexual Assault Prevention & Awareness Center (SAPAC)
  5. RAINN Rape Statistics
Clips heard in this show: 
  1. Louis CK - Rape
  2. Ever Mainard - Here's Your Rape!
If you have any comments about this show, disagree with us, have something to add, please please please comment on this post! We love to hear what you have to say.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

PJ McGann - Sexuality/Gender/Stereotypes - 7/11/12


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I LOVE SEX AND TELL

Hi sexy people!

We have another interview for you this week, and I'm really excited for you to listen to it! We brought PJ McGann, a professor at the University of Michigan, into the station to talk about a multitude of topics, but primarily the break-down of sexuality, gender, and stereotypes that perpetuate heteronormativity. We also delve into bisexuality, and why being bisexual can be difficult with the stereotypes of both hetero- and homo-sexuals, as well as how both of those communities operate.

To be perfectly honest, I could talk all day about this topic, and it's unfortunate that we only have 30-minutes to give you the scoop. I really hope that we can have another show like this, and I would love your feedback on specifically what you would like to hear! Also, if you just want to chat about this topic (as broad as it is), I would love to hear from you! E-mail me!


Useful links: 
Music you heard:
  • "Autant de lundis que le linge sur la corde à linge" by André Duchesne
  • "Squirrel Commotion" by Podington Bear
  • "Dreaming Women" from R.O.D. the TV OST 2

Tune in next week for a LIVE roundtable discussion with Sonya and I! 

Friday, July 6, 2012

Happy Sexth of July - 7/4/12



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Due to a lack of interviews, the holiday season, and my dear co-host being out of town, I decided to do a live show for the first time, and talk a bit about the history of sex in Amurrica! Although it was a bit of an irregular show, I hope you really enjoyed it, and I hope that you check out some of the other resources listed below. I had a lot of fun reading these articles, and I tried to share what I thought was best, but each link has waaaaay more stuff than I could talk about on-air in 30 minutes.

A lot of what I wanted to talk about on the show was that every day, every month, every year, America is changing, sometimes for worse, but a lot of the time for the better. We've made huge strides not only in civil rights regarding gay marriage, but with sex and sexuality in general. It's finally becoming more OK to talk about sex, and hopefully someday we'll be as healthy and open about sexuality as our fellow humans in European countries.

If you have any questions, comments, etc. about the show, feel free to leave comments or e-mail us! We would love to have a conversation about whatever's on your mind!

Useful links:
Music used:
  1. "C'était Une Histoire D'amour" by Edith Piaf
  2. Satie: Gnossiennes #5 (Modéré)
  3. "Memoir of a Future Past" by Ezekiel Honig
Tune in next week! 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Roundtable #2 - OKTrends, Missed Connections - 6/20/12

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I hope that you all liked our round-table discussion last week, because we're doing it again this week!

Sonya and I got to chat with our engineer this week, Ben, and decided to talk about the phenomenon of missed connections on Craigslist, and read a few for you. Although we explain it on the show, here's the low down: a missed connection is when you see someone in real life, but don't have the guts to talk to them/ask for their number, and then regret it. Thankfully though, the internet has been invented, and missed connections allow us to reach out blindly for our hopeful lovers. There's also a really great illustrated book about missed connections called Missed Connections: Love, Lost & Found which you should check out if you dig this idea. Also, here's kind of how a missed connection works, but is mostly my excuse to reference Amélie:
Amelie looks ready to post a missed connection. 

Man at the photo booth - w4m: 
I saw you at the photo booth and I think you're sensitive and charming. I can't get you out of my head. My neighbor thinks I'm obsessed. Also, I have your scrapbook of ripped up photos of strangers. I dig that. Let's meet at The Two Windmills at 4pm. I may or may not be in a Zorro costume. 

"This is you, isn't it? No, really, it's you. I can tell by the Zorro suit!"

We also check out the OKCupid blog, although not really updated anymore, and talk about a few of the charts and trends that seem to be common on OKCupid that could definitely be relevant to your sex life, especially if you have an online dating account and want to know how the logistics and culture work online. Now go forth and be educated by our show!

Links you should check out:
Music you heard:
  • "Pretending To..." by Illicit Tsuboi (Samurai Champloo)
  • "De Hombre A Hombre" by Gotan Project
  • "Fu-Wa-Fu-Ra" by Taku Iwasaki (R.O.D. the TV)
    Until next time, you sexual beasts. 

    Thursday, June 14, 2012

    Roundtable Discussion! - 6/13/12


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    For today's show we had an idea percolating in the wings about having an open discussion about whatever issues were on our minds. This idea was also perpetuated by our friend Kate, because she likes to hear herself talk on the radio. The idea of this show, and hopefully more roundtable discussions to come, is to feel comfortable talking about whatever topics are on our mind regarding sex/sexuality/gender. Sex positivity is the name of the game, folks. We're not experts about anything, but we all have different experiences that allow us a unique perspective on these topics, and it would be such a waste not to talk about it, and share our experiences, and learn from others.

    Useful links:
    1. Autostraddle: Girl-on-Girl culture, news, opinion, and entertainment site.
    2. /r/sex - This is a subreddit all about sex, where anyone can ask questions, get an outside opinion, or just browse the various posts that other people make.
    3. LaciGreen.tv - Sex positive vlogger who is just super awesome.
    Music you heard:
    1. "Talking To Myself About You" by Peggy Lee
    2. "Can I Talk To You?" by Podington Bear
    3. "You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me" by Arctic Monkeys
    4. "Rainy Day" from Animal Crossing OST
    If you have any questions or reactions to the show, feel free to leave them here! Till next time!

    Wednesday, June 6, 2012

    Hormones and Sex - 6/6/12


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    Katy Goldey
    What's up, listeners? Are you ready for another episode of Sex and Tell?! We've been getting a lot of positive response from you, and we can't tell you how pleased we are to have you listening to the show, and checking out our blog. We encourage you to comment/e-mail us about stuff you like, stuff you don't like, things you would like to hear! Anyway, onto the topic!

    For today's show we interviewed Katy Goldey, who is a graduate student working with Dr. Sari M. van Anders in her social neuroendocrinology lab, which focuses on sex, hormones, sexuality, and gender! We'll dive into how testosterone affects men and women differently, estrogen in men and women, and also animal masturbation!

    Useful links:
    Music you heard:
    • "One Day" by Nobukazu Takemura
    • "Instinct Blues" by The White Stripes
    • "Yaaro Sonnaangalaam" by K.S. Chithra
    Thanks again for listening, and tune in next week!

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012

    Burlesque! - 5/30/12


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    Annie Thing
    And now for something completely different, this week's show is about the wonderful, strange world of burlesque! For this show we brought in Annie Thing and Mabel Syrup from Tickled Fancy Burlesque Co. to talk a little about what they do, and why they do it.

    We talked about a lot of topics covering burlesque: costumes, skits, classic vs. modern burlesque, characters, etc. The most important thing that I want everyone to take away from this though, is when we talk about how burlesque reveals how everyone is sexy. Whether you're funny sexy, geeky sexy, ballerina sexy, everyone feels sexy sometimes, and you need to own that feeling. You need to know that you are absolutely beautiful, and absolutely sensual in your own way. There is no cookie cutter sexy, and that's what burlesque is about for Tickled Fancy. They're about finding their own characters to relate to, and making it OK to be yourself.
    Mabel Syrup


    Sites to check out:
    Music heard on this show:
    • "Shines Through Trees" by Podington Bear
    • "Ruby, My Dear" by Thelonious Monk
    • "After Midnight" from Chicago
    Hope you enjoy the show, and check out our archives for shows you've missed! Feel free to leave comments about anything you liked/wanted more of/hated! 

    Sunday, May 13, 2012

    You found the Sex and Tell Show!

    To give you a little summary about what we're doing on the radio, I give you three words: sex, sexuality, and gender. This is a radio show every Wednesday from 6:30-7pm on 88.3 WCBN FM Ann Arbor. The purpose of the show is to educate, entertain, and inform our listeners of various topics within the realms of sex, sexuality, and gender in the most tasteful, academic way possible. That said, we're not experts in this field. We are only curious humans. As much as possible, we intend to bring knowledge people in for interviews on the subject of the day, and simply have a little chat.
    Here is a sampling of topics you might/will hear on the air:
    • Coming out
    • Trans issues
    • Genderqueer
    • Sex toys
    • Safe sex
    • Body image
    • College dating/sex
    • Porn
    • Etc.
     We'll have some updates soon, and will be posting the audio every week for you to catch up on, as well as a post about the topic! If you have any questions, topic suggestions, complaints, or would like to be interviewed for the show, feel free to contact heidimad@gmail.com.