Safety Girl! - 10/24/12

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Today's show I had a very special guest: Tanya Veilleux, who you might know as Safety Girl. She recently opened Get Curious with Safety Girl on Liberty (under Bongz & Thongz), and is on a mission to help the community by offering lots of toys, workshops, and fun costumes.

Something I love about what Tanya does, is that she is not afraid to be completely sex positive, and in a completely safe way. There are no dumb questions with her, and there's nothing TMI. You can talk about anything, and her shop is a completely safe space for this. Tanya also has developed a relationship with First Step, a domestic violence support community, which I think is so necessary to talk about and bring to light, since 1 in 4 women has experienced domestic violence.

The thing I realized while talking to Tanya was that it's important to band together in small communities like ours. Sometimes it's hard to open up about your sexuality, whether your straight or queer, and it feels good to have other people that are open about it. That is one of the fundamental reasons for my show here guys: to make you feel comfortable talking about your sexuality. I want you to feel empowered and comfortable with yourself, and the only way for that to happen is if other people are open about their own sexuality. Sex-positivism is catching.

Music you heard:

1. "Curious Jungle" by Podington Bear
2. "Ask Me Now" by Thelonious Monk
3. Safety Girl Theme

Useful links:

1. Get Curious with Safety Girl
2. Safety Girl on Facebook
3. "Boutique caters to student sexual needs" via Michigan Daily
4. First Step

Bullying Part 2 - 10/10/12

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Welcome to week 2 of Bullying Awareness Month at The Sex and Tell Show!

When it comes to bullying, the major idea is that students feel safe. If they don't feel safe, they will not report bullying when it happens. They won't know who to trust, and they won't feel comfortable talking about it with just anyone, because maybe THEY will bully them too. Even the smallest things can help, like having a rainbow flag sticker on your door, or an HRC sticker on a water bottle. Having materials (brochures, etc.) in your office will let students know that they can talk to you. Kids pay attention, and they notice more than you think they do. 

Another important thing that I think all schools should do, is to provide some sort of informational assembly (or multiple assemblies), regarding the LGBT community. Have someone explain what queer means, or what being transgender means. Inform your students, and they will be less likely to bully, because they will UNDERSTAND. Same thing with adults, which is a reason why I have this show. When people are more educated on a topic, they are more sympathetic. They are less likely to say something offensive.

Music you heard:

1. "Eugenia" by Scott Joplin
2. Zeki Müren (forgot the song sorry!)

Useful links:

1. LGBT Youth Tip Sheet
2. 4 Steps Schools Can Take to Address Anti-LGBT Bullying and Harassment
3. Gay Bullying - National Youth Association
4. Transgender people and bullying

I hope this was helpful, and I hope it inspires you to stop bullying, in whatever form it takes. Tune in next week when we talk about fetishes!

Bullying Part 1 - 10/3/12

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In light of Bullying Awareness Month, I wanted to have an episode specifically on the kind of bullying that happens with queer kids in high schools, college, work, whatever. Turns out the episode didn't go quite as I planned, in the most glorious way. I'm really pleased with the way the topic went, and especially with my guests.

A major topic we talked about were the ways that people bully, and the kinds of people that bully. Here's the thing: everyone bullies and everyone is bullied. Bullying comes out of insecurity, or ignorance. The only way to stop is to be honest with ourselves about why we're feeling a certain way, and also to not let bullying slide. Ever. It's never OK, and it's not just something kids do. Adults do it too. Companies do it. Politicians do it.

The worst though is when someone is bullied for simply being who they are, which is why this topic is so important for a show like mine. This can pertain to anyone with a body. Whether it's making fun of someone for being overweight, calling someone a slut, or calling someone a fag. You can stop this. You don't have to tolerate it, and you shouldn't tolerate it. Every single person on the planet is so beautiful, and deserve as much respect as anyone else.

Also, as a side note, this episode was not only aired live, but was also filmed live by two wonderful ladies in a documentary film class at the university! Thanks for adding so much energy to the show!

Useful links:

1. CBS WKBT News Anchor's On-Air Response To A Viewer Calling Her Fat
2. FAQ: What is "slut-shaming"?
3. Bullying Prevention Tips (concise)
4. Gays Bullied To The Point Of Suicide

Music you heard:

1. Same Love feat. Mary Lambert by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

If you're interested in this topic more, we're having Part 2 of Bullying next week, so definitely listen in. We didn't cover even half of the things I wanted to talk about, and since it's Bully Awareness Month, I think it deserves another show. See you next week!

Older LGBT Adults - 8/15/12

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Today's show I interviewed Kathleen LaTosch, the special projects consultant for Affirmations, about a very interesting topic, and probably not one that's on your radar: LGBT older adults. The elderly community itself is something that younger generations sometimes don't think much about (until they are part of it), but everyone needs to do their part to make their issues known.

Older LGBT adults have a lot of problems not only with housing, but with typical aging services, such as retirement homes, assisted living, hospice, etc. These are major issues for heterosexual adults, but for LGBT individuals, it can create a whole host of problems. Maybe they're severely closeted, and don't trust others to come into their home for fear of being outed. Maybe they are living with a partner, but cannot live in the same retirement community because of discrimination (which is allowed in Michigan by the way).

Please realize that this could be an older person that you know. Maybe someone at your church or temple. Maybe it's your next door neighbor. An important point that I want to make is that simply talking about the issues can solve the problem, and can make people more aware. If you know an older person, have them take this survey. I also have it linked below. This can help change the discrimination we face in Michigan, and discrimination specifically faced by older LGBT individuals.

Useful Links:

1. LGBT Older Adult Coalition
2. LGBT Needs Survey
3. Affirmations of Ferndale, MI
4. Relevant article from the New York Times

Music you heard:

1. "Easy Living" by Billie Holiday
2. "On The Sunny Side Of The Street" by Louis Armstrong
3. "To the Gateway" from Super Mario Galaxy OST

Tune in next week! And don't be shy about leaving a comment or shooting us an e-mail! We love e-mails!

Sexxit! - 7/25/12

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Check it out, so Sonya and I were like, "We have no idea what to do this week," so we decided to take my obsession with Reddit and make a show out of it.

I've been a Redditor for about year now, and the community never fails to astound me in ways that I didn't think the internet could anymore. So many Redditors on /r/sex are willing to give you meaningful comments if you have questions, stories, or need serious help with a problem, and I don't think I've ever seen someone made fun of or trolled for a serious question. Topics are all over the maps, including but not limited to: trouble with orgasms, how to bring up BDSM with a partner, tips for oral sex, etc.

Besides talking about some important questions that we found on /r/sex and might be helpful to you, I hope that if you take away anything from this, it's to hopefully facilitate better communication with partners, and conversations with friends and family. Yes, sometimes it can be awkward. It's usually awkward in fact, but that shouldn't stop you from being able to talk about questions you have, or things you think are relevant, because they matter, and you're not alone.

Useful Links:

1. /r/sex (Sexxit)
2. /r/sexpertslounge (The Sexpert's Lounge)
3. The Sexpert's Lounge Blog

Music you heard:

1. "I Don't Know Enough About You" by Peggy Lee
2. "Toboggan" by Podington Bear
3. "Mayhem" by Terrorizer

Now go use the internet more! And as always, if you have questions/comments/rants, please hit the little contact button on top of the page!

Happy Sexth of July - 7/4/12

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Due to a lack of interviews, the holiday season, and my dear co-host being out of town, I decided to do a live show for the first time, and talk a bit about the history of sex in Amurrica! Although it was a bit of an irregular show, I hope you really enjoyed it, and I hope that you check out some of the other resources listed below. I had a lot of fun reading these articles, and I tried to share what I thought was best, but each link has waaaaay more stuff than I could talk about on-air in 30 minutes.

A lot of what I wanted to talk about on the show was that every day, every month, every year, America is changing, sometimes for worse, but a lot of the time for the better. We've made huge strides not only in civil rights regarding gay marriage, but with sex and sexuality in general. It's finally becoming more OK to talk about sex, and hopefully someday we'll be as healthy and open about sexuality as our fellow humans in European countries.

If you have any questions, comments, etc. about the show, feel free to leave comments or e-mail us! We would love to have a conversation about whatever's on your mind!

Useful links:

• FAQ to The Kinsey Institute
• "The History & Future of Sex" by Marty Klein, PhD
• "Making War, Not Love: A French View On Sex In America" by Pascal Brunkner
• "Delta Venus" by Anaïs Nin
• Sexual Revolution via Wikipedia

Music used:

1. "C'était Une Histoire D'amour" by Edith Piaf
2. Satie: Gnossiennes #5 (Modéré)
3. "Memoir of a Future Past" by Ezekiel Honig

Tune in next week! 

Circumcision - 6/27/12

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Today we talked with Andrew Kohler about the pros, cons, and myths of circumcision. This was especially interesting for us, because Sonya and I had absolutely no idea that circumcision was such a hotly debated topic. After talking with Andy about it, I was talking to a friend who said that on Reddit, there was a lot of buzz about Germany's decision to ban religious circumcision, which made me curious to see the Reddit community's various opinions on circumcision in general. I highly suggest you check it out.

As this is a topic of debate, we would love to hear your comments or opinions on the matter, and any anecdotes you might want to share.

If you want to know more, or you want to talk to Andy about anything at all, he encourages you to e-mail him at andrew.kohler@yahoo.com.

Useful resources:

• Circumstitions
• DOC (Doctors Opposing Circumcision)
• NOCIRC (National Organization of Circumcision Information Resources Centers)
• Intact America

Music/Clips you heard:

• Carl Orff: De Temporum Fine Comoedia (Play on the End of Times) played by Cologne Radio Symphony Orchestra
• "Every Sperm is Sacred" from 'Monty Python and the Meaning of Life'
•  "Uncut" from 'Sex and the City'
• "Body and Soul" by Billie Holiday

Until next time! 

Burlesque! - 5/30/12

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Annie Thing

And now for something completely different, this week's show is about the wonderful, strange world of burlesque! For this show we brought in Annie Thing and Mabel Syrup from Tickled Fancy Burlesque Co. to talk a little about what they do, and why they do it.

We talked about a lot of topics covering burlesque: costumes, skits, classic vs. modern burlesque, characters, etc. The most important thing that I want everyone to take away from this though, is when we talk about how burlesque reveals how everyone is sexy. Whether you're funny sexy, geeky sexy, ballerina sexy, everyone feels sexy sometimes, and you need to own that feeling. You need to know that you are absolutely beautiful, and absolutely sensual in your own way. There is no cookie cutter sexy, and that's what burlesque is about for Tickled Fancy. They're about finding their own characters to relate to, and making it OK to be yourself.

Mabel Syrup

Sites to check out:

• Tickled Fancy Burlesque Co.
• Fierce Queer Burlesque Festival
• History of Burlesque Pt. 1
• Burlesque via Wikipedia

Music heard on this show:

• "Shines Through Trees" by Podington Bear
• "Ruby, My Dear" by Thelonious Monk
• "After Midnight" from Chicago

Hope you enjoy the show, and check out our archives for shows you've missed! Feel free to leave comments about anything you liked/wanted more of/hated! 

Trans Part 1: MTF Basics - 5/23/12

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For this episode of the 'Sex and Tell Show', we interviewed Sara Jakubowski, who is a transgender woman living in Ferndale, MI, and avid blogger. The major themes of the show are: MTF (male-to-female) transitioning, coming out as trans, gender dysphoria, and how non-trans people can support their friends/family who are trans.

A major topic that, from the very beginning of this show, we wanted to talk about is trans issues and the trans community. It's one of those things that a lot of people are thinking about, but no one's talking about it. In the early stages of the show, we asked around Ann Arbor, and also friends of ours, what kinds of topics they wanted to hear or learn more about, and probably more than 70% of people said "trans issues." People want to know how to react if they meet a trans person. You want to be sympathetic and inoffensive. You want to separate the fact from the fiction, especially with how the political climate is regarding same-sex marriage. The queer community thanks you.

Something important to remember while listening to this show, is that we are just scratching the surface regarding trans issues (thus the title "Trans pt. 1"). We intend to have many more episodes regarding gender, and especially the break-down of terminology regarding various gender identities. If you're curious (which I hope you are), here is a list of terminology to whet your appetite. Also, if you want to hear about specific topics, comment/e-mail us! This show is to help you, so tell us what you want!

If you want to share a story, talk more about resources where you are, or anything, we encourage you to comment here, or e-mail us. Sara is also super nice and would love to talk to you! You can e-mail her at suddenlysara1@gmail.com.

Aforementioned Links:

• GoAffirmations.org 
• Suddenly-Sara.com
• Suddenly Sara YouTube Channel

Music heard on this show:

• "Ragged Wood" by Fleet Foxes
• "Real Love" by Regina Spektor
• "Son Binocle" from 'Les Trois Valses Distinguées Du Précieux Dégoûté' by Eric Satie

We'll see you next week!

Coming Out - 5/16/12

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Welcome to the very first episode of the Sex and Tell Show!

Sonya and I have been planning and plotting topics for shows for a few weeks now, but when it came to what our very first topic should be, both of us knew immediately: Coming Out. It's one of the hardest things a human being can do, and I personally think it's something that everyone, not just the LGBT community, has to deal with. Learning to be honest about who you are is hard. That said, our show today is going to be specifically about coming out as some form of queer.

If you're looking for the resources we mentioned on the show, you can go to our Resources page. We would also love to hear your coming out stories, questions, tips, advice, anything! We have this show for you to listen, and this blog for you to feel comfortable interacting with us, and talking about this stuff! Feel free to leave comments or e-mail us!

The music you heard on the show today was:

• "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
• "Jump In" by High Places
• "Bend" by Ben Sollee

See you next week!